I'd be the reason for your pain, and you can put the blame on me
- Akon

I actually feel like the worst girlfriend in the world right now. I mean, yes, every girl could potentially think she has feelings for another guy. But to think you have feelings for someone who one of your good friends likes, now that's just bad. It'll be 2 months for us on the 4th, and yet it feels like we've been dating for a year. Part of me says I can't handle him, I mean if he reads this, I hope he realizes that I adore him to pieces, but some of the things he says and does, just annoys me. As much as I love being in a relationship, this summer, I would love to be single. Just for the idea, that if anything were to come about at camp, I wouldn't feel guilty.

This person won't read this, but I need to get it out --  I don't care if you're going on a fuckin' date with him. Yes, I may have liked him in the past, but a part of me will always be a tad jealous. Am I happy for you? Of course. But I don't want to hear about it every day til the date night comes, and then hear more about it after. I have enough problems without hearing about how happy you are.

I saw Candice tonight. It was nice, she let me vent, i let her vent. It was nice.

I realized tonight how much I'm going to miss Sarah. I mean, she's kept me sane for the last 4 years, specially when I lived with her, and now I'm picking up and leaving for 3 months. *sigh* I guess I got free texting at the right moment.

I should go to bed. But I can't. Well I can. But first, to e-mail someone.

Ciara said it right in her song "like a boy"
~Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy~